Recharge

Transcript

Brooke:

You are here. Gregory Patterson. The Gregory Patterson is here. I’ve only met you once in person and I feel like sometimes people get weird when I get woo woo, but I truly believe that in life when we’re given different opportunities, and we choose to say yes, or no, or go for things that scare us, that doors open. And I feel that we meet people along the way on our journeys that make such an incredible impact. And we don’t even know that some of those circumstances will allow for that. You are one of those people, for me. 

 

I’ve only met you once. 

 

Gregory:

Oh my God, I’m already crying, what the hell? You’re ruining my concealer. 

 

Brooke:

But really, you hear people’s stories. You’re hilarious on Instagram. You can connect through different people and see someone on social media and create an image, or an idea of who they are as a person. But I had so much appreciation for meeting you, and understanding where you came from, what your story was. You have such an incredible heart, you are so kind.

 

I felt like I was coming into celebrity status, and you made me feel very loved and accepted. It was really, really powerful coming from a small Midwestern girl that’s traveling for the first time to New York by myself. You just connect the dots in life. I am so grateful for my life and who I’ve been able to connect with, and I hope that I can return that on some level in my community and people’s lives as well. I think this year has taught us a lot about that. As well as just deeper connections, and meaning, and kindness, and love. So, Gregory Patterson, you can take the floor. Thank you for being here. I love you to death. Let’s chat.

 

Gregory:

Brooke, thank you. I’ll just say the feeling is absolutely mutual. That’s one of the gifts I say that I get to receive in the beauty world. You know, some of you watching right now may be like, well, what the heck does beauty have to do with this Recharge Summit? And even if beauty isn’t important to you, that’s okay. I’m going to share some other aspects of beauty that I’ve discovered in working with women such as yourself, Brooke, and celebrities at the top. And, you know, women from small towns like yourself who have never been to New York, and we get the opportunity to work together. What I’ve discovered along my career, my journey of almost 18 years now, is there are some common threads that run through a lot of women in terms of beauty. I’ve also discovered that beauty (and this is going to sound so cliche) but, beauty really, really is what is happening on the inside. So I’m excited that I get to kind of peel apart some of that with you all today. 

 

My intention is to share some things with you that I’ve learned along the way. Some simple reminders. Some simple, beautiful reminders. Some little gifts and nuggets of wisdom that you women have shared with me that I’ve applied to not only my everyday life, but kind of the things, and the moments, and the triumphs, and the mountains that I’ve had to climb over, and how I remain positive, and how I remain feeling good through all of this. So my intention is that you see beauty differently, if you aren’t in tune to beauty, if you’re not running to the MAC counter to buy the latest and greatest highlighter. 

 

That’s not what today is about. Today is about reminding yourself how truly beautiful you are. How beautiful this gift of life is. Even in our most shittiest of shit, it’s still beautiful. And there’s some good nuggets in there. So I can’t wait to spend this little time with you. And I’m just going to jump into my journey and why I’m here. Brooke has shared that she and I did get to work together. But that started years ago. I always had a dream, and I am also from a small town Brooke, I think that’s why you and I connected so well. I grew up in a town where we didn’t even have stoplights. We didn’t even have a fast food store. And the day that we got a McDonald’s, it’s sold out of food for two weeks. Chino Valley, Arizona represent. 

 

I used to ride my horse to school. That’s how tiny the town I was. But I always had this dream. I grew up country. I grew up team roping, hunting, fishing. . .all this stuff. But I would always watch VH1 fashion television and just be mesmerized by the power of women. This is back in the days of Cindy Crawford, Linda Angelica, like the 90s supermodels. And I used to watch them. And for me, it wasn’t about the fashion. It wasn’t about what they looked like. It was about how they carried themselves. And it gives me chills right now just seeing the power that women have and the power that women possess on the inside.

 

How could I tap into that energy? How can I discover that energy within myself. . .goes back a little bit further. My mom is an incredibly powerful woman. I haven’t realized that really until my 30s (I’m 39 now). But my mom really instilled a lot of values in me and a lot of things that I have incorporated into not only my career, but my personal life that has helped me stay beautiful, that has helped me bring beauty to the world. And that has helped me help women like you find and discover what makes them feel most beautiful, so you feel more powerful, more confident, so that you get to live the life that you want to live, build the communities that you want to build, share the gifts that you have to share. And that’s really what excites me and powers my career right now.

 

I went to Hair School. And it wasn’t until hair school that I discovered the power of beauty. My mom’s best friend found out that she had stage four breast cancer. And it was a devastating day. And one of the gifts I got in beauty school was being able to give her her first haircut before we ultimately ended up shaving her hair. I still have her lock of hair in my beauty school book with a beautiful little note. And it’s the first time I realized what, and how, women attribute beauty and what feeling beautiful means. I went from watching this woman who had long hair that was always highlighted, always blown out and beautiful, to having a shaved head and watching the shift that happened with her personality and with her spirit. And I thought, okay, there’s got to be other women experiencing this. Whether it’s through alopecia. Whether it’s through cancer.  Whether it’s through underlying autoimmune disease. Whether it’s through stress. Whether it’s through abuse. Whether it’s through something. . .there’s something that challenges us, but there’s also a light within us that never goes out. It may get dimmed down a little bit but it never goes out. So how can I contribute to keeping that light, fully fueled and bright, even if it’s on the inside, even if you don’t see it? 

 

When you look inside the mirror, what can I do to help women illuminate within, so that the rest of us, and hopefully she sees it when she looks in the mirror? I’ve been able to do weddings, I’ve been able to do the Met Gala, I’ve been able to do the Oscars, I’ve been able to do divorces and funerals. I’ve been with you women through the best of the best and the worst of the worst. And I’ve collected a lot of nuggets that I wanted to share with you. I’m going to share with you some practical things that you can do. And I always want to share some things that you have in your cabinets right now at home. Because I don’t believe you have to have a million dollars to access beauty or feel beautiful. I love a high/low experience. Right? 

 

Brooke: 

So I take that to mean everything I was just thinking about the other day what you said to me, you said to me high/low in New York and I was like, “what is a high/low?” because in my mind at that time I was thinking everything needed to be high in order to upgrade my life. Everything needs to be high end. I need to shop. I mean, this is my first time in Nordstrom and it almost gave me a heart attack. But I’m like, how do I live here and you’re like a high/low. I like a good high/low. I like my really nice shoe with H&M pants. And I was like, “Damn, I can do that?” 

 

Gregory:

Yes, yes. And the same rules apply to beauty, you know. I am all about, like, invest in the accessories for me. Grab a great shoe. Get a great handbag. But then go to the Gap, go to H&M and like, feel fabulous. You know what I mean? When it comes to beauty, I have very, very similar rules. So I always love to share some high and some low. And I’m gonna share that with you today. But a little bit more about my story and the intention and the purpose of discovering the beauty. I’m going to be very candid with you. And Brooke, I don’t know if I shared this with you, I think I did. Because there’s only like three women that I’ve ever trusted this with onset, usually I don’t bring my personal life into my work life like that. But for four years, I really, really struggled with an addiction to drugs and alcohol. And it’s something that came out of nowhere, I don’t know how it happened and how I got caught up in it. But, this was a time when I was on Project Runway and I was leading the hair looks and I had to show up every day and be on camera. And what was happening behind the scenes, what was happening in my personal life was I wasn’t showing up for myself. And I lost control of how I felt about myself, I lost control with my confidence, I lost control with my personal care and my self-care. I lost control with committing to myself and following through. And I pretty much just gave up over the last four years. And fortunately, I was able to get some help. I ended up going into treatment in LA for a few months and was able to put a pause on that and dig deep into the trauma and discover some unresolved things. But there are also some really good gifts that I received during that experience that I incorporate into my life today. 

 

So my first actionable takeaway is something that has worked for me, and I’ve discovered and I would love to share with you. And it also ties into a lot of times when women sit in my chair for either a haircut, or color, or an event. When they look in the mirror, when you look in the mirror, the first thing you do is start ripping yourself to pieces. And ladies, listen to me. . .today is the day that that self negative talk, that language, that poison, that toxicity–it ends today, it absolutely ends today. Because that little light that’s still within you, even if it has been dimmed down, there is still light within you. And you’ve got to retrain, you’ve got to find a way to retrain your brain to power it back up. You know, I have some science here when it comes to beauty, the health benefits of self-talk. 

 

I did a summit about three weeks ago with a treatment center. And I was so shocked at the science of beauty and the science of what happens when we’re able to talk to ourselves and see ourselves in a way that we feel beautiful. So to share some things right off of here, self-talk, think of athletes when they’re self talking, they’re seeing a hurdle or a high jump that has never been performed. I think of Venus and Serena Williams, I think of Serena Williams. She gives me chills, she is Queen,

 

The amount of self-talk that she has to go through to shut down that saboteur or to shut down the crowd and the people in the audience that are rooting for the other girl and rooting loudly. Something has to click on the inside. That only you–your coach can’t say it. Your Life Coach can’t help you. You have to say it. I’ve had to say it. And I’ve had to go back to find ways that work for me to coach myself out of “Oh God, my hair’s receding. Oh, look at all these grays. I’m getting so wrinkly” That toxic negativity is having a chemical effect on your body. That toxic negative talk and toxicity is rewiring your brain to believe these truths that are absolutely untrue. And that’s why I say today it stops. 

 

So some things that I’ve done to work myself out of this, is this. . .now Brooke, this is where the high/low’s gonna come in.

 

So during this pandemic, I’ve traveled so much for work, I’m always on the road. This is the first year in nine years that I’ve not been on an airplane. And in the beginning, it was cool. But then I dipped into a bit of depression, and not a bit of depression, I did dip into some depression. And I thoughtI, there’s got to be something to get me out of this. So what I started to do was, when I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do when I wake up is I do a body scan. And I literally am feeling my feet. I’m feeling my toes scratch the sheets, I’m feeling my body. Oh, I have a little sore right here. Oh, my skin feels a little dry. It’s okay. It’s okay, I’m alive. My heart’s beating, my lungs are pumping air. It’s okay. So I started just simply observing my body and observing my thoughts, which is where a lot of this like Greg, you got to stop talking to yourself like this, right? You’re alive today. So I stopped. And I don’t even pick up my phone. What I did was invested in a really delicious, beautiful journal. So before I pick up my phone in the morning, I share three things in my journal about myself that I absolutely love. And it’s interesting what’s been happening as I observe my thoughts coming up. Because when I started doing this, it took me a while to get the negativity moving. So if they’re clouds, and negativity is just moving through, I would literally be reaching for one that felt uplifting and felt self honoring. So then what happened was, I got addicted to this. I’m like, Oh my god, I can’t wait to wake up tomorrow. And like toot my own damn horn. 

 

So then what happened was, I started to feel like my depression was blocking my creativity. And I’m like, What the hell can I do? So I just simply started waking up. And I would just grab my beauty rollers. So people on Instagram were like, Gregory, why are you always doing these stupid little rolling things? And I’m like, why am I doing this? I’m soothing myself. I’m taking care of myself first. And one of the greatest lessons that my mom ever shared with us growing up was take care of number one first. And it’s so funny because in my adult life, I have heard that. But it wasn’t until I dipped into taking care of other people and being of service to other people, and found myself in a spot where I stopped taking care of myself. And then I was not able to service and care for other people. That’s when I realized I am nothing, my career is nothing, I cannot share my gifts with anybody if I don’t take care of myself. 

 

Now, fortunately, there are a ton of effects from taking care of myself. Not only am I creating good lymphatic drainage in the morning, but I also started to establish a self care routine, a self care routine where instantly I am waking up and I am talking to myself kinder than anybody is talking to myself throughout my entire day. And it’s me. And now I’m starting to take care of myself in a physical way. So this became a thing these rollers became a thing. Now I have rollers of every damn kind. I have the rose quartz. I have this one that said it’s going to contour my jaw. And if you see my bed stand, I have a shrine to beauty tools and elements. Whether they work or not–They make me feel good. And I cannot touch my phone for the first five minutes upon rising until I do my three things that I am so in love with myself over, and put them in my journal, and dedicate first to some self care and some observation of thought. Nothing else happens. Nothing else happens.

 

Brooke:

I just saw one of those rollers and thought, oh maybe I need to get one. 

 

Gregory:

So let me tell you, this is true Brazilian rose quartz. My good friend Jamie owns this company called Beauty Bio. She’s also on HSN and QVC.  These are not plugs. Anything I share with you today is out of my personal cabinet. I’m not selling you anything. I am just recommending that you take some time and build a routine, to honor and nourish and nurture yourself before taking care of anybody else. 

 

And I can hear Yeah, but Greg, you don’t have kids. Yeah, but Greg. . . Let me share a story with you. My sister, who is a single mom of two incredible little kids, they live north of San Francisco. I haven’t seen her in years, we haven’t spent time together in years, we had Christmas last year. But nobody’s ever visited me in New York, like none of my family or friends. And I’m like, I missed my little sister. And my little sister came to visit me about three weeks ago. And we slept in the same bed, and we had these little things we used to do with kids, like, write our names on each other’s backs. And it was just so beautiful to be like 38 experiencing these gifts of childhood with my sister again, you know what I mean? And she started getting into this, she would be like, “Oh, where’s my roller,” and she would do it. Since she has gone home, she has not only committed and continually practices this routine, my little niece now has her own roller. And before they get out of bed, Courtney said it is dead quiet. And they’re rolling in silence. And I’m just like, “Oh, god, this is beautiful.” 

 

So take care and honor yourself and nurture yourself first. And when those thoughts start coming in, in the morning, tap them, like Serena them out. Get them out of the way and only receive the ones that are lifting you up. And I know it’s going to be challenging, it was challenging for me. it felt uncomfortable. And I felt like it felt so fake, it felt artificial. It got me out of a rut. And it reminded me of myself of how beautiful I am. How loving and joyous and happy I am. And I’m not that old. And you know, these wrinkles are going to come and it’s not going to define me. And these grays are going to come in, this receding hairline is going to move back. And now I have a five head. But you know what, I’m like 39 I made it 39 damn years through all of my traumas, and my sexual abuse and my addictions. And I’ve made it like today I’m alive. And I want you ladies to think of those moments that you’ve triumphed over and dip into self care and loving yourself through that. 

 

So then what happened was I started thinking like, how can I be creative? I am missing creativity in my life like no other. I’m feeling bored. And I thought you know what, there is no better way than through wigs. If you follow my Instagram, in the morning, what you get is a whole bunch of jargon. You get me rolling my skin. And you get me popping on wigs of all types. And why have I done this? Because I started feeling better about myself. When I committed to my daily mantras, meditations, journaling about me, my creativity started to rise again. And I started once I picked up my phone, I started doing things that I was like, Oh my God, you’re so funny. And I would literally lol laying in my bed, right? So then I started ordering all these stupid wigs on Instagram, or excuse me off of Amazon. And then I started receiving so many DMs from people saying, your Instagram stories crack me up. And I thought, Oh my gosh, this practice and commitment to myself every single day is shifting where I was two months ago. It is getting me out of my rut. It is reminding me to have fun. It has reminded me of the other parts of me that I thought were lost, that I thought were done and over, that I thought my addiction ate them all up, and I’ll never be able to get those parts back again. And ladies, that is not true. 

 

When I look at myself in the mirror now, I welcome myself and all the parts of myself. Some days I don’t feel like a rock star. Some days I don’t feel handsome, beautiful. But one of the ways that I can bring that beauty back is through a self care practice. It is so important. Cortisol is released when we are stressed. Stress breaks down collagen and elastin. If you are over 30, you know that these juicy, delicious, puffy cheeks, go down, they go down. And we’re grabbing every cream and every method that we can possibly get our hands on to build it back up. If we simply minimize the amount of stress, we minimize the cortisol levels, we minimize collagen breaking down quicker. Now for some of you, you’re going to be like “I’m in, okay.” It isn’t too late. We’re not going to stress about it, it’s never too late. We can start from where we are right now. Right? 

 

So today is the day where the self talk goes away. The self care elevates. Highly, highly recommend creating a self care, put it on your calendar, put it in your reminders, when maybe you have three minutes in the morning to dedicate to your observation of thought, of body, and your self love journal. It’s not what am i grateful for, It’s what do I love about myself? Why do I love myself?

 

Brooke:

Okay. So if anybody’s thinking like, when you are in a state of feeling very overwhelmed or stressful or not good about yourself. Sometimes, like you were saying, in the beginning, it’s hard to find something that you’re like, I really love this. So how long. . .is it just an element of faking it till you make it? How long did it take you to actually look at yourself in the mirror and actually wake up every morning and say, I love you. Like, I love you. How did you get from there to actually believing it and being like, I’m in love. I’m in love with me.

 

Gregory:

Yeah, really good question. So I will say that in my addiction, while I was an active user, it was four years of not loving myself. It was four years of never believing that I was going to be good again, like watching my physical health deteriorate. I gave up on flossing my teeth every day. I gave up on washing my face every day. I gave up on my routine every day. So let’s take those four years–there were moments when I would have to hop on HSN or QVC, that I would feel good and look good and be like, you still got it, kid. But the minute the cameras went off, that was over for me. So when I was able to pause, and by my pause I mean I went to treatment, and I really started to look within and stop seeking outside validation from things. 

 

You know, I needed the likes on Instagram. I needed the next gig. I needed the next paycheck as a freelance artist. I needed all these things to remind myself that I’m going. It wasn’t until I stopped and really started to create and commit–I had to commit because I couldn’t do anything. Brooke, I could not follow through with anything. So if the only thing that I could celebrate that day, was being quiet for three minutes every single morning, and putting three things down on a journal to remind myself. And when I did not believe it at the beginning, I didn’t believe it at the beginning. It took me months. It took me months, but I had to commit to it. 

 

I cannot go to the gym one day for 30 minutes on the treadmill and expect to lose the 25 quarantine pounds that I put on, they’re not going to be gone, I have to flex. I cannot do my lymphatic drainage with just my knuckles for 30 seconds thinking I’m going to have an effect, I have to commit to the two minutes that it takes to remove all of that lactic acid and push it down through my body for any de-puffing to happen. So it has to be a commitment that you make with yourself that’s non-negotiable. The first thing I’m doing is taking care and honoring myself first. 

 

And I just happened to be in the beauty business, and love tools that feel good and that have an effect from them. Nothing is ever going to come if you don’t practice it, and the chemical balance and the chemical rewiring and building those new neural pathways. When you look in the mirror is not going to happen until you commit every day to saying you know what? I love your eyes. I love your eyes. They remind me of how warm and rich your soul is, and they give me access to that heart that pumps joy and beauty and comfort for so many others. It’s time to get back to yourself. It’s time to offer that to yourself. 

 

People think that beauty is vain. You know, there are times when I’ve questioned that during this quarantine. I’m not a frontline worker. I’m not. And my hat’s off to you all. And I think to myself, well, I’m not saving lives. I’m not. What am I doing? What, like what is happening? But then I get to experience a photoshoot with Dr. Julie Hauser, and get to sit with her and get to listen to where she’s been in her life and get to discover, she wants a change. And I get to share part of that change with her by flipping her part this way and giving her texture, experiencing something that she’s never done. Trusting in another human being that yes, even though it is beauty, when she turns, Brooke, and she looked in the mirror, she was like, “Oh my god, I feel like some of the people on the Pinterest board that I sent you.” And I’m like, okay, those are my gifts. That’s what I get to do, I get to help you evolve, or access or remind you of the self care and beauty that’s available to you that sometimes, more often than not, cost nothing. 

 

And I know the powerful effects it has on not only your life, but your family’s life, your children’s life if you have them, your pets life, your community, you’re able to show up and volunteer again, you’re able to, you know, be in a space where you’re able to be creative again, my creativity was lost. And it wasn’t until I started accessing different forms of beauty, you know, through wigs and through foam hair pieces, and through doing crazy little things every morning that I committed to myself and was able to follow through and feel. I feel like me again and I feel like a rock star again. You know what I mean? And that’s what I hope you ladies get from this. 

 

You know something else I’ve dipped into, is a bath. Like look at this plate of delicious goodness. Why would you not want to treat yourself? Oh shit, there it goes. Treat yourself to a glitter bomb. And some juicy delicious mango peach delight while you’re doing a meditation in the bath. You know, I know these sacred spaces are challenging to find and create in your own life, especially if you have children. But promise, promise, promise that you will begin to commit to creating a space and holding the space in your busy calendar. I bet you can chop off five minutes here, five minutes here, to create 10 extra minutes for you in the bathroom with the door locked for you to give yourself a beautiful face massage, and press in some extra oils to give you that glow.

 

Brooke:

I’m telling you that you and Rhys are like kindred spirits (my daughter) and she saw those bath bombs, you’d never see them again. That girl is like a bath bomb Queen. Any store we go to there’s like six bath balls in our car. Girl, get it, I guess.

 

Gregory:

But you know, think about that. That childlike spirit that wants to play and that is so free. As an adult myself. I want to get back to that. I think as I hustle so hard, I forget about those simple little treasures in life. And if we pay attention and observe our children, and I observed my nieces and nephews I’m like, she dyes her hair five different colors every week. And why? And she’s like, because I want a change, and it’s like, this is beauty. We get to explore beauty and and shift it and change it all the time. And you don’t have to have access to a lot of money and a big budget to feel beautiful at all. I know this because I’ve worked with so many people on all the ends of the spectrum. 

 

And you know, one of the number one beauty products that’s an every magazine that we all have–olive oil. Olive oil. I don’t recommend it directly onto the skin but I do recommend it in a bowl placed in the microwave for 30 seconds and dip your fingers in it. Right now we don’t have access to manicures and pedicures or if we do, some of us still don’t feel safe going in. I am one of them. Give yourself five minutes of a manicure so there’s something tactile with the warmth and the heat. You’re nourishing and nurturing your cuticles. Take a cuticle pusher, these things are nothing at CVS and Dwayne Reed, I recommend the ones with rubber because they can be cleaned. They can be sanitized. Wash them with soap and water first spritz with 70% alcohol at least, and just simply push them back. This simple little act of self care is another act that you’re committing to. And you’re scheduling in for yourself. Not only that, but in the time of COVID and germs and bacteria. Did you know that your cuticles are one of your best safeguards from bacteria coming in? Which I don’t recommend getting your cuticles nipped. This is your safeguard, so I pushed them back. I have a good buddy Tom. He does j Lo’s nails. He does Heidi Klume’s nails, he does everybody’s nails. Don’t trim your cuticles, push them back. It’s a barrier against bacteria and germs coming into the body. So that’s one of my tips on the cuticles. And you may have that olive oil sitting in your cabinet right now. Heat it up girls, heat it up and put your paws in. Put your paws in.

 

Do we have any questions coming through yet? 

 

Brooke:

So tell me, I want to know more about the wigs. Okay, so you talked a little bit about how self care is such a big part of empowering us? How we should be giving ourselves the time and the space, and I love that your mother taught you to take care of yourself first. Because if you’re sick, if you’re depleted, you can’t take care of anybody else. But the wigs, I mean, this is another element that is play, and fun, and like what role that it brings into all of it?

 

Gregory:

So my creativity was lost. It was gone. I started questioning my career, I started questioning and really banking myself on other people that I would just sit on Instagram and scroll through and watch them and be like, you know, I was in the comparison canal. I was non stop in comparison and being like, Well, God, should I feel safe enough to fly? Should I be out there creating content? Should I be doing more. And it just started to dig me deeper and deeper and deeper. So when we’re talking about that self talk and that poisonous, toxic language that we use, when I found myself laying on the couch, laying in my bed for hours scrolling through Instagram, and now it’s two o’clock pm and oh, there’s another day I wasted. And oh, you’re not doing anything and oh, shame on you, Greg, that it just went into a spiral. 

 

So the wigs are an outside of me experience, expression, to bring myself joy Brooke. I was looking for ways that I could see somebody different in the mirror. Literally, my sister will FaceTime me when I’m cooking breakfast. And she’s like, Oh my god, like really, you do this by yourself? Absolutely. I do this by myself because it cracks my ass up. And I forget that it’s on and you catch a glimpse in the mirror and you’re like hahahaha, you know what I mean? It’s a way for me to break the cycle that I was in. So whether it’s one of these, or whether it’s one of these, the only thing that this serves is to add some creative spark, some creative joy. I’m a hair person. So it’s challenged me to seek outside and be like, let me find what other cool wig hair pieces there are for me to explore. You know, and what it did was now every single morning if you jump on my Instagram. . .now I’ve added music, and all these fun stickers and I try to find a theme. So now my creativity in the morning is off the charts, and it is unfolding into so many things. And it all started with the practice of self practice. 

 

I will tell you during this pandemic, I have only gone on HSN maybe four or five times, coming from two times a month for the last, I can’t tell you how many years, that is you know it starts to affect you. And I’m like, wow my job. It’s like, what’s happening with my career? It’s going down the drain. The moment my creativity started to rise, the moment my inbox started to rise with questions like, Can you do some content for birdie.com? Hey, I am a haircare brand, looking to launch my brand. I found you through social media. We love your personality and creativity. I have not heard that in such a long time. But once I started telling myself or reminding myself that I am funny.

 

In New York, got a delivery coming through, I’m really wishing it was the mozzarella sticks from the diner down the street, they’re this big around and that big. No, but it wasn’t until I started getting myself out of the rut, that I started opening up myself to receiving what’s been in the works for me to come to next. You know, and that only happened because I took control of it. And none of my friends, and I have tons of friends that are life coaches and help people rise and my community, my good friend, Julie, that lives down the street, nobody could get me out of the space except for me. And the first thing I had to do was stop telling myself that I’m worthless, that I’ve lost it, that all my creativity is gone, that I don’t know how to do hair anymore, and that I have nothing left to share and give.

 

Brooke:

I think you’ve hit on two really huge things. One of them is self care, which we talked about. But one of the curveballs that you threw in at me, is just how important it is for us as adults to learn how to play again. Because that is our creativity. Like, that is our creativity and we lose that.

 

Gregory:

Yeah, and I think we lose it for several reasons. Number one, is we just lose it because we get lost in the hustle of life. You know, we get lost in the hustle of life, and then we have children and we have animals. And I know specifically for women because I’ve seen it happen with my sister. I’ve seen it happen with my mom, I’ve seen it happen with hundreds of clients that have sat on my chair, women are the last to take care of themselves. And Beyonce said it, who runs the world? Women. We call it Mother Earth, we don’t call it Father Earth. You know, I was gifted to be able to watch my sister birth my nephew, Andre, and to be witness to the power and the wisdom that runs through the body in the veins of females. When you watch a woman birth a child, you’re like, yep, that’s why they call it Mother Earth because you run the world. So why are women the last to take care of themselves? Flip that script today. Take care of yourself. 

 

Let’s use my mom’s mantra. You are the most important person in your life. And you are worthy and deserving of the first five minutes of your day for yourself. You are worthy of thoughts, to be positive, to be loving, to be kind. Even if that day you don’t believe it, you are worthy enough to tell yourself that you are, and two weeks, three weeks, four months down the road, it is going to start to click and you’re going to be like I think I am going to buy that roller. I think I am going to go get that haircut, I think I am going to buy that four inch pump. And I think I am just going to vacuum the house in it because I can’t go anywhere. So when I get my little Dyson Shark, I’m gonna be power vacuuming. I love to vacuum by the way. 

 

Brooke:

Oh, I love it. 

 

Gregory:

Yeah. So it’s just important to remember to take care of ourselves and do not neglect your self care routine. And if you don’t have one, I highly encourage you to incorporate one. Schedule it in if you need to, lock the bathroom door and say it is my time. I have 10 minutes. No knocking. Put a sign like we used to do as kids. No boys allowed, no kids allowed. Mama’s in here, my time. You know, create a sacred space for you to honor and cherish and nurture yourself. 

 

Brooke:

Love it. Love it. Love it. Okay, so being the social media guru that you are. How do you manage social media? So one, how do you not go through the comparison negative loop when you are on social media, because it’s a lot of noise. 

 

Gregory:

It’s a lot of noise. So here’s what I’ve done in terms of social media. So, way back in the day when I started making content and showing up on television, I didn’t realize that people can share their opinions about you, freely. And one of the worst things I used to do is go on to YouTube and watch videos that have been posted of me and read the comments. Do not read the comments. There is nothing in that comment section negative or positive that is any of your business. It is none of your business. If you have maybe a product you’re selling or creating, it might benefit you to dip into those comments. If you don’t have the strength to do it, maybe find a trusted colleague, companion, or friend to dip into those comments to kind of pull out the nuggets so there’s more of a discerning mind of like, okay, you can take out the few of I hate your voice and her hair’s gross. I mean, people are ruthless on the internet, like, I did these blow dry videos, I have like almost 2 million views now and what the comments are like, His voice is so gross. 

 

Brooke:

Isn’t that crazy?

 

Gregory:

It is, but it’s also somebody else’s opinion of you. And whether you like my voice or not, I don’t give a shit. I get hired to fly all over the world to teach this technique. And I’ve changed the career of hairdressers behind the chair to reach their levels of success and goals. So rule number one, stop reading the comments. One thing I’ve also had to do is limit the platforms that I go on. Instagram is something that’s really easy for me to manage, because it’s visual. And if I stop and choose to read the copy, I can do that. But Facebook to me, I’ve had to pause, because everybody is allowed to come to the party, and have a seat at the table, and just spew whatever information they want to spew. So I’ve personally had to limit what platforms feel right for me, and feel right for my rise and my elevation, and allow me to rise and elevate others. So that’s first and foremost. 

 

Managing social media. I wish I had it right next, can I go grab something really quick? Two seconds.

 

Brooke:

What is he going to come back with now?

 

Gregory:

You see this thing? I am now gifting these to my sister, I’ve had to put my phone in a lock, and you set the timer. And you set how long you want to keep your phone in there, you cannot open this thing up unless the timer goes off and unlocks the safe, or you crack it open with a hammer. So now, I am digitally detoxing every single day because social media is part of my business. It is how I share my beauty with others. It is how I’m able to maintain my contract with beauty brands, and share tips and tricks for you women at home to get quicker, better, faster, more beautiful things, right? It is part of my business. But it started to take over and overwhelm my life and take me off my self care and self managing game. So if I don’t have the strength to step away from it, I needed for me to get something that I could physically put it into and cannot access until that one hour timer is up. So that’s been really, really helpful for me, because right now I don’t have the strength to just put my phone down and step away from it. I’m always like, oh, what about emails? Oh, what if I missed a text. It’s all going to be there. It’s all going to be there.

 

Reminds me of a story. When I first moved to New York, I was running down the steps to catch. . .I heard the train coming. And this old gentleman was standing at the platform, and was taking his time down the steps. And he looked over at me and the doors closed and I missed the train. And he said, this is probably six months after I moved to New York. He said, You know what? He goes, the good thing is, is another train is going to come for you. And I was like oh my god. Like why am I in such a rush to get everything done five minutes ago, that email is going to be there when I get back. Another train is going to come for me. I can call another Uber. 

 

You know, I don’t have to rush to get out the door in five minutes. I can take three minutes for myself right now to tell myself in the mirror like I did before I got on here that I am good enough and that I do have some gifts to share with this summit. It still gives me the pinches when I’m like why? Why am I? What do I have to share? One of you might walk away with a nugget today that might help lift you up out of a space and remind you of a space that you used to love and thrive in. That’s my only goal and intention is for one of you to laugh at this stupid wig and say I need a little more joy in my life, and just start incorporating it and I might need to take care of myself a little bit more. So I’m going to schedule a three minute hot towel steam with a little bit of lavender every single night after I take my makeup off, just to take some big deep healing breaths. And say you’re doing it and you’re beautiful and you can. That’s all my intention and hope is from this experience. And I am good enough to be here with you today. Do not let that self saboteur become louder than the beautiful, gifted human being that you are. Absolutely not. No. 

 

Brooke:

Oh, I love it. I love it. And I love you. I could sit and listen to you talk for hours, I’m getting so many wonderful little, and you just make everybody laugh, man, like, but you’re making yourself laugh first. Doing you. And I love it. 

 

Gregory:

Literally, like, I don’t care if anybody laughs or not, I get a kick out of my stuff. I literally watch my Instagram. And I’m like, Ah ha ha ha ha.

 

Brooke:

And I think that’s what’s so important about especially expectations. We all think we have so many expectations. So when you talk about comparison and judging yourself with somebody else, it’s hard to kind of like, go back to wait a second, who am I, because I just saw 15 other people doing this. What do I want? I don’t even know who I am anymore.

 

Gregory:

Especially in the world of celebrity and social media. Everything is so filtered and everything is trimmed down. And she didn’t get that butt that way, you know what I mean? So when it comes to beauty, we’re just constantly comparing ourselves to women and men that we admire and respect and think just walk on water, when in real life–that isn’t real life, you know. When I see some of these celebrities up front and personal, I’m like, wow, your skin really isn’t as porcelain as the cover of the magazine that you were on. Okay, so you have pores and congestion as well. Cool. You’re normal, you know. And I think that’s something to remind ourselves as at the end of the day, we’re all seeking the same thing. And that’s happiness, and joy and a ton of love and community, a space of acceptance, not only from our community, but also ourselves. And I would really encourage you just to flip that around, and accept yourself first. Like really dive into the things that are necessary for you just to fall back madly in love with yourself. Like if you love dark chocolate, you love yourself more than dark chocolate, and write about it. Write about how much you love yourself. Because other people do. Why the hell don’t you? You know what I mean? No.

 

Brooke:

Oh, I love it. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much for being here with us today. 

 

Gregory:

Brooke, it is a pleasure. I am humbled. I’m grateful that you and I have met, I’m grateful that you allowed me and trusted me to come in and offer some of my perspective on beauty inside and out with your community. And if anybody needs a little lifting up, or a little bit of beauty help if you need help on your root touch up, come over to my world, Gregory Patterson hair on Instagram, and I would love to connect with you over there. 

 

Brooke:

Or if you just want you. You’re the only reason I go on Instagram. 

 

Gregory:

I’m the only reason I go on Instagram. I have to do my story, I got to do my story to be creative and have fun and take care of myself. 

 

Brooke:

Yes, for sure. For sure you give a lot of love there. So thank you so much. All right. Thank you for being here. I appreciate you so much. 

 

Gregory:

And I love you. Thank you. Nice to see you again. 

Thank you, Brooke.

 

Brooke:

Bye, everybody. Thank you.